When enough is enough – Get out of an abusive relationship

By definition, abuse means to use wrongly or improperly, to hurt or injure by maltreatment. Now, how does one define an abusive relationship and how does one get out of it? An abusive relationship is when one partner starts to hurt his/her partner physically, verbally and emotionally and victims of an abusive relationship don’t know when to break up until the damage has been done.

What determines an abusive relationship? Does it involve an exchange of physical altercations or verbal barrage of insults and putdowns or does it involve hurting the other one emotionally? The answer is a simple yes, whether it’s either one or all of the mentioned determinants. Breaking up with an abusive partner is the only option to get out of an abusive relationship as early as possible. But when people in a relationship fight, it always involves an exchange of hurtful words and yet after the fight, promises of the fight not happening again are made and broken. It’s one vicious cycle, to tell you the truth. Here are some early tell-tale signs that your partner is abusive and/or your relationship into an abusive path:

1.) Verbal abuse – your partner tends to say mean and hurtful things to you with no regards for your self esteem and dignity. He/she demeans your whole being.

2.) Physical abuse – your partner starts to lay a hand on you when you fight, be it a strong grab in the arm, a pinch or slap here, or a punch. A physical altercation is already a tell-tale sign that he/she is abusive when angry.

3.) Emotional abuse – your partner neglects your relationship by not showing up for dates, forgetting important issues like anniversaries, and the worst part cheating. He/she suddenly and drastically changes his/her entire being.

Bad break ups often come from an abusive relationship because one is more hurt the other and a break up from an abusive relationship has its share of hangovers and aftershocks. When people come out of an abusive relationship, it’s already been too late and the damage has been done to their:

1.) Self esteem
2.) Self respect
3.) Value of self importance
4.) Happiness


Battered women have a hard time moving on from their broken marriage/relationship because of the trauma caused by the abuse. I am not saying that only battered women feel this way, but also for men who have weak foundations in their being.
When these signs have already started to show, then you already know when to break up and it is best if you do it fast. When all you get out of that relationship is heartache, then breaking up is the only option for you.

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Tell tale signs of a break up

People often tend to look at signs and slowly compose these to come up with something big and probable. In the case of relationships, couples often are on the alert of possible break up signs especially if they hit a big wave during the course. In addition, breaking up with someone who once became special to us is hard and truly nerve wrecking. Because after all the said gesture is an indication of an end and a loss at the same time.

So before you decide on the question “Should we break up?” You need to contemplate and really assess the so called break up signs thoroughly. You don’t want to end up losing the right partner for you in the process. In the end you would then be asking yourself “Can I get my ex back?” If you were the one ender of the relationship, then this can be very difficult to handle. Thus, I listed some typical break up signs to watch out.

• Petty arguments. Arguments in a relationship are common and some prove healthy to strengthen the initial bond. But if the occurrences of such quarrels had become a day to day basis then you need to be vigilant. In addition to such, if you and your partner would argue for the smallest possible thing and end up blowing the whole issue enormously, then it’s a typical sign that your partner wants a foundation to start the break up ball rolling. Bad break up often begins in an argument that partners don’t want to solve.

• Lessened intimacy. Being close is one key factor to strengthen the bond of any relationship. It is like taking it a notch higher by sheer touching and kissing. If you noticed that your partner is somewhat distant when it comes to this aspect by avoiding it tendency he/she is not anymore interested. If this would happen on a daily basis then it’s a possible break up sign.

• Third party. When the relationship is on the verge of breaking, there is a large tendency that your partner would slowly shift into someone. When a possible third party would come into play then it would be easy to get out of the relationship and perhaps forget the latter partner.

Ending a once happy relationship because of varying reasons is truly an unbearable pain. Just remember these break up signs and perhaps one can cut the bond with due decency. After all a bad break up is something that one should avoid so as to retain respect with the other.

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