When enough is enough – Get out of an abusive relationship

By definition, abuse means to use wrongly or improperly, to hurt or injure by maltreatment. Now, how does one define an abusive relationship and how does one get out of it? An abusive relationship is when one partner starts to hurt his/her partner physically, verbally and emotionally and victims of an abusive relationship don’t know when to break up until the damage has been done.

What determines an abusive relationship? Does it involve an exchange of physical altercations or verbal barrage of insults and putdowns or does it involve hurting the other one emotionally? The answer is a simple yes, whether it’s either one or all of the mentioned determinants. Breaking up with an abusive partner is the only option to get out of an abusive relationship as early as possible. But when people in a relationship fight, it always involves an exchange of hurtful words and yet after the fight, promises of the fight not happening again are made and broken. It’s one vicious cycle, to tell you the truth. Here are some early tell-tale signs that your partner is abusive and/or your relationship into an abusive path:

1.) Verbal abuse – your partner tends to say mean and hurtful things to you with no regards for your self esteem and dignity. He/she demeans your whole being.

2.) Physical abuse – your partner starts to lay a hand on you when you fight, be it a strong grab in the arm, a pinch or slap here, or a punch. A physical altercation is already a tell-tale sign that he/she is abusive when angry.

3.) Emotional abuse – your partner neglects your relationship by not showing up for dates, forgetting important issues like anniversaries, and the worst part cheating. He/she suddenly and drastically changes his/her entire being.

Bad break ups often come from an abusive relationship because one is more hurt the other and a break up from an abusive relationship has its share of hangovers and aftershocks. When people come out of an abusive relationship, it’s already been too late and the damage has been done to their:

1.) Self esteem
2.) Self respect
3.) Value of self importance
4.) Happiness


Battered women have a hard time moving on from their broken marriage/relationship because of the trauma caused by the abuse. I am not saying that only battered women feel this way, but also for men who have weak foundations in their being.
When these signs have already started to show, then you already know when to break up and it is best if you do it fast. When all you get out of that relationship is heartache, then breaking up is the only option for you.

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How not to break down after a break up

Creating relationships is by far one of the most daunting tasks and challenges in our life, whether it’s a simple friendship between neighbor, officemates and co-workers, and anybody you might pass by in the streets to the more meaningful and complicated relationship with that special someone. We are at our happiest moments when we love and are loved in return, but what happens when we break up with our special someone?

Life can be cruel sometimes. Just when you thought that everything is going so smooth and well and you think that you would finally get that happy ending that you so desperately want would change in a blink of an eye. A break up between couples would occur due to unfortunate circumstances, contributed by stupidity or destiny. Regardless of the circumstance and reason for the break up, we always end up as a down-trodden broken down shell of a human being; depressed, low on self esteem, and probably as fragile as a champagne glass on top of a bull’s head. The healing process takes a lot of time, depending on the strength and will of a person to move on and forget about the past. Most would just sulk around for months, even years, grasping to that one false piece of hope that he/she will get their ex back.

Breaking down after a break up is the normal and usual routine we go through, just like what happens to a computer after it crashes from a malicious software, the only difference being that the computer would eventually reboot after it has been fixed. So why can’t we be just like the computer and simply reboot our broken down self after a break up? Doing the tips mentioned below will speed up the healing and recovery process of moving on but take note some will be painful:

1.) No communications – it’s a noble act when we try to communicate with our former lovers in the hopes of hanging on, or simply being there for them when they don’t want us there in the first place. This act only benefits them and hurts us all at once. Cutting off communications between your ex is the baby steps to moving on.

2.) Keeping busy – with work, friends and family, and other fun stuff rather than sulking around in the dark corner of your bedroom is the best way to forget about someone. Remember how our mothers would dangle a toy in front of us before swiping that bandage off? Same thing with keeping busy. Doing something fun will help you recover faster because your mind is focusing on that something fun that you’re doing and ignoring the painful stuff.

Basically, these are just the 2 simple steps to hasten the healing process. Although some would advise you to start dating as a sign of moving on, but in all that’s honest to goodness, it’s not ideal. It’s about the same as going into the battlefield with one magazine of ammunition, a bullet in the leg, and going head on into the heavily armed opponents. When people still haven’t moved on after a break up, their judgment is clouded and impaired, so dating a break up is a big no-no unless you want to do the kamikaze.

Overall, it doesn’t take much to avoid breaking down after a break up. All it takes is a little knowledge of getting back on your feet after falling down.

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Mistakes your partner did – Break up advice for women

People have varying tolerance levels for other people. We can tolerate our friend’s obnoxious behavior, while we can’t do the same for other people. We can be patient for our mom while she’s lining up at the groceries, but we can’t be patient for the delivery boy who delivers your morning paper or coffee. Couples break up because of intolerance towards their partner.

When two people connect in a relationship, it’s no surprise that they will show their good side towards their partner, and unknowingly, their bad side. Women are more susceptible to notice the change in their partner’s behavior and are more sensitive than men. Women are known to be more patient than men simply because of their ability to understand people in a deeper level than men. When women move in with their partners, chances are the two sides will have a sudden change in behavior and attitude towards the other. From this point on, the relationship becomes a sitting duck and the break up is just around the corner with a rifle and its crosshair playfully hovering above the relationship. Quite the analogy but in a matter of speaking, it becomes fragile to the point where all that pent up anger and frustration towards your partner may only need one tipping point to end it all. Husbands argue with their wives because their wives nag too much. Wives nag so their husbands would somehow lend them an ear and heed their advice or order or whatever it is that they would want to do like clean the house, pick up the stuff on the floor and so on. On the women’s side of things, it’s somehow a frustration when their partners don’t listen to them. For a short time this may seem tolerable but in the long run, it’s bound to tip and spill. Of course, conflicts can easily be resolved when you just talk things out with your partners. Worst case scenario is couples break up because of certain unresolved conflicts. In the case of partners living together but not married, women would have different reasons to break up if they see that their partner is not all that they thought he would be. For women, I can offer you some break up advice should a break up can no longer be avoided because of your partner’s deficiencies and downfall:

1.) Break up advice # 1 – When your partner is drinks a lot and refuses to listen to you to stop, better bail out before you end up being beaten up in drunken stupor.

2.) Break up advice #2 – When you see your partner is 100% relying on you for his needs, despite the fact that he can hold a steady job but refuses to get one, better get out before you turn into his slave.


3.) Break up advice #3 – When your partner goes out late at night and refuses to tell you where he goes, then an affair may be lurking up and about. If you share the same circle of friends or if you’re close with his friends, then it’s time for a confrontation.

4.) Break up advice #4 – When your partner lies to you a lot, then there really is no point in staying with him for a prolonged state of time. Better to be out than hurt so much later on.

5.) Break up advice #5 – When your partner talks brashly and hurtfully to you, or in a shorter term, verbal abuse, it just shows that he really doesn’t value you totally as a person. Staying longer in this kind of relationship would end up damaging your self esteem.

It’s never too late to confront your partner and tell him what he is doing wrong. Listening is an important aspect of a relationship and if he still refuses to listen, then breaking up with him would probably be the best for you. It’s painful but you will get over it in due time and you will find someone else better than him.

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Learning from your mistakes will help you get back with your ex.

Life gives us the chance to make the right decisions in order for us to better ourselves in terms of living, work, school, and relationships. Mistakes are made when we often make the wrong decisions, deliberately or unknowingly.

Like stepping stones leading to another place, mistakes in relationships will often give us the chance to better ourselves for either the next relationship to come or for a past relationship. When we break up with our partners for different reasons, it often leaves us to re-assess what we did wrong in that relationship in order for us to avoid doing the same mistake in the next relationship, should there be a new one. Learning from your mistakes will sometimes mend your broken ways with your ex and getting back with your ex may be a possibility. Getting back together with your ex is ideal, assuming because it shows that you really love your ex and you would do what it takes to get back with your ex. Romantic as a failed relationship given a second chance may sound, take note that the phrase “history repeats itself” will be applicable. Just because we learn from our mistakes doesn’t mean we are not susceptible to doing it again. When people say that love is better the second time around, it also means that the pain involved will also be greater than the first time. So in a sense, there is more to risk in a second chance at a relationship because unlike a new relationship where in you get to start with a clean slate, second chances involve starting where you left off after breaking up.

Before considering getting back together with your ex, know what you did wrong in the previous relationship, regardless of the significance or value of the mistake. Assure yourself if your partner would also do the same because if not, then history will indeed repeat itself.

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How do I get my ex boyfriend back – When women realize their mistake of breaking up

There are always two sides of a story. When it comes to relationships, it’s usually the guys who are at fault for the break up. When women are at fault, it may take some time for them to realize before they ask themselves “how do I get my ex boyfriend back” or when they see their ex with someone else.

Breaking up is never easy. When women find it hard to move on after a break up, it may take some time for them to move on, most especially if they are the ones who are at fault for breaking up. In general, people find it hard to admit to their mistakes when they realize what they’ve done, and in a relationship point of view, when one or the other commits a mistake, they usually don’t admit to it. Sometimes all it takes for a person to realize their mistakes is when they see their ex is happy with someone else. It’s a harsh reality but more often than not, this happens to majority of us. When you start asking yourself “how do I get my ex boyfriend back”, then chances are you are now realizing what you’ve done after the break up. But worry not, there is still a chance that you can get your ex back and here is what you need to do:

1.) Admit to your mistakes by talking to your ex boyfriend.
2.) Re-evaluate where you went wrong in your relationship.
3.) Avoid the same mistakes if you are given a second chance.

Of course, you really can’t force your ex boyfriend to get back with you if he is already happy with someone else. But you can never be happy with yourself if you don’t admit to your mistakes. Mistakes will always haunt us and it is the price we pay for doing so but the best part in mistakes is that we make sure that we avoid doing them all over again.

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The art of breaking up – tips on how to break up

There are so many articles out there giving advices and tips on how to get together with a guy or a girl. There are so many dating articles that most of them end up saying the exact same thing but rephrased differently. But did you know that articles with a topic on how to break up is also being looked up by millions of single (and married(?)) people all over the world. If you think that this article is about getting out of relationships easily, then you’re wrong. If getting in is hard, breaking up should be even harder.

There may come a point in time in your relationship that you or your partner might consider ending the relationship. Maybe because the spark in your relationship is gone, or maybe one or both of you fell out of love or maybe even the decision to enter the relationship was a mistake. In any case, when this realization starts hitting you, another fork in the road comes along: should I end it or not? Sometimes, a relationship that’s no longer survived by one person is a failing relationship, survived in a sense that there’s no more effort to keep the relationship going. If you choose to opt for the former, then read on. If you choose the latter, then stop reading the article. Breaking up is never easy but here are some few tips on how to break up without it being too difficult for you.

Tip on how to break up #1 – consider the factors why the relationship is failing. Is it because of work? Stress? Distance? Does it involve a certain third party? Do you still love your partner? In any case, the key to a civilized break up is to talk with your partner about your relationship. Full frontal brutal honesty is required for this talk.

Tip on how to break up #2 – if the relationship is no longer worth keeping (yes, there are some couples out there who stay together only for the sake of being together.), then it’s best to tell your partner how you feel. Maybe he/she is thinking the exact same thing.

Tip on how to break up #3 – NEVER MAKE A REASON FOR YOU TO BREAK UP. Don’t go out forcefully seeing other people just so you can break up with your partner. It’s barbaric and at the same time it will definitely hurt your partner.

As I’ve said before, breaking up is never easy. But sometimes, when you’ve done those first 2 tips, you and your partner are actually evaluating the relationship and where it is right now. If you can manage to salvage and start over, then it’s an even better alternative. No one can ever tell a couple how to break up since it would be completely dependent on the couple alone how they are going to do it. If there is still a glimpse of a silver lining in your failing relationship, then that alone is enough for you to keep the relationship going and talk to your partner about it. Who knows, maybe you’ll regret it and start thinking about getting your ex back.

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