Behind the heartbreak – thoughts and actions before and after a break up

Through the course of life, at some point in time we experience perhaps one of the most tragic incidents and that is losing a loved one. What is more painful about this is the thought that the one you loved was lost not because of an accident but by actions we did that resulted in breaking the former bond of our relationship. In addition, the moment of a break up is not the only instance that the pain would be felt but also the aftermath. Oftentimes, this is the most difficult phase.

Recovering from a break up is never an easy task and there’s that train of thought that you would want to get your ex back. True enough, this is the first thing anyone could ever contemplate and be with their partner again. But you must not rush things. If you are under this cloud of wanting to get your ex back after a break up, you must assess the various reasons that lead to the separation. Sometimes, it would be dependent on various circumstances. For instance, if you break up because of an attitude misunderstanding, this can be easily cured by a thorough conversation. But if the underlying factor was another individual and a deeper issue then you need to think twice if you still desire to pursue the relationship again.

Another mode to recover from a break up is to do things that would make you busy. If you caught yourself in idle times, tendency is you would only linger on your once special someone and reminisce the moments that you were together. This can be very unhealthy and would only add up to the thought to get your ex back. This time prioritize on things and make the most of your singleness. Collect your thoughts on what interests you most and start from there. If you happen to be a sport enthusiast, then you can opt to try a different sport. This is also the perfect period to spend most of your time with your immediate family and closest friends. It would be very good to surround yourself with people especially those who can uplift your mood and spirit, and from there things will not be as difficult as it might seem.

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Things to consider before you get your ex back

In almost every break up, the first thing that will almost definitely come to your mind is to get your ex back. Moving on will never is the easiest part after the post-break up stage in your life. It never is. Sometimes, during this stage, you might think that there are still chances that you will get your ex back.

As I’ve said before, moving on is never the easiest part but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the hardest part. More often than not, couples who have lasted for more than 3 years are more than likely to have broken up once or twice, but have managed to get back together for a variety of reasons. I have friends who have been together for more than 5 years, broken up at least twice in their relationship lifespan before settling down and getting married. Where I am getting at is, sometimes moving on doesn’t mean that you have to start dating other people again but to make the effort to get back with your ex if the chance would present itself, but you have to take into consideration the factors and reasons why you broke up in the first place. If you broke up for reasons listed below, then there is still a chance that you can get your ex back:

- work is getting in the way
- long distance relationship will never work for you
- career first before relationship
- you or your partner need the space (definitely the most widely used form of break up reason, in my honest opinion)
- other external factors like family, peers

But if you broke up because one of you cheated on the other, then it would be a mistake on your part or on your partner’s part if you can get him/her back. The phrase “History repeats itself” is more than likely to happen if you broke up with him/her because one of you cheated. So if you broke up because one or the other cheated and you got together again, it’s going to be the same story again, unless one of you will decide to change for the better.

There are so many reasons why couples would break up, sometimes it would be for the most pathetic or sometimes the most selfless act they can do. The latter is a rare occurrence of course, but yes they do happen. Getting your ex back is sometimes a challenge in itself, not only the process but also prolonging your second chance at your relationship and avoiding the same mistakes all over again.

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