Behind the heartbreak – thoughts and actions before and after a break up

Through the course of life, at some point in time we experience perhaps one of the most tragic incidents and that is losing a loved one. What is more painful about this is the thought that the one you loved was lost not because of an accident but by actions we did that resulted in breaking the former bond of our relationship. In addition, the moment of a break up is not the only instance that the pain would be felt but also the aftermath. Oftentimes, this is the most difficult phase.

Recovering from a break up is never an easy task and there’s that train of thought that you would want to get your ex back. True enough, this is the first thing anyone could ever contemplate and be with their partner again. But you must not rush things. If you are under this cloud of wanting to get your ex back after a break up, you must assess the various reasons that lead to the separation. Sometimes, it would be dependent on various circumstances. For instance, if you break up because of an attitude misunderstanding, this can be easily cured by a thorough conversation. But if the underlying factor was another individual and a deeper issue then you need to think twice if you still desire to pursue the relationship again.

Another mode to recover from a break up is to do things that would make you busy. If you caught yourself in idle times, tendency is you would only linger on your once special someone and reminisce the moments that you were together. This can be very unhealthy and would only add up to the thought to get your ex back. This time prioritize on things and make the most of your singleness. Collect your thoughts on what interests you most and start from there. If you happen to be a sport enthusiast, then you can opt to try a different sport. This is also the perfect period to spend most of your time with your immediate family and closest friends. It would be very good to surround yourself with people especially those who can uplift your mood and spirit, and from there things will not be as difficult as it might seem.

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Why we need relationships – a simple reflection

The coined phrase “no man is an island” clearly holds true to the existence of a human being. From friends, families to lovers, we all need someone to depend on and hold on to.

Whether it involves family members, friends or a lover, we all need someone to make our lives meaningful and true enough; every person you meet in this world and in your lifetime will have an effect in your life, be it good or bad. Focusing on the romantic aspect of relationships, we will most definitely have our own fair share of romance and heartaches, of the joy of a first date to the sadness of a break up, of getting serious to getting married. Truth is, relationships are very unpredictable and can change its pace in the blink of an eye. Be it circumstances beyond our own control or our own conscious actions, everything we do and say can change the course of a relationship and this just does not apply to those romantically involved but to family and friends as well. It all comes down to one thing when it comes to relationship: to fulfill the need of companionship. We can never survive on our own and psychologically, we were born to interact and if we don’t have that interaction, it can have adverse psychological effects. Family and friends are there, whether we want them to be or not and we can always rely on them to be there for us. But a lover can fulfill needs that they can’t provide; the need to be loved and cared for, intimacy, the desire to be that right guy/girl. From the preparing for a first date to going on dates more often to getting serious to popping/answering the big question to getting married, it’s all one big process when it comes to romance. The only twist in love stories is the sad ending or a break up. We never want to break up with our lover but if it’s because of uncontrollable circumstances or controlled actions, we can never predict what’s in store for our lover, but the beauty of it is that you get to live by the day and take every single moment that you’re together with your partner and make it the happiest moment of your life, whether it’s a simple romantic monthly anniversary dinner or a night out at the coffee shop.

Our happiest and saddest moments happen when we are in love and that is what makes life worth living and the beauty of a romantic relationship is that we live and love by the day, making every single moment perfect for us and our lovers. It’s an unpredictable course in our lives and it’s a down trodden path to a lifetime of happiness and joy.

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When enough is enough – Get out of an abusive relationship

By definition, abuse means to use wrongly or improperly, to hurt or injure by maltreatment. Now, how does one define an abusive relationship and how does one get out of it? An abusive relationship is when one partner starts to hurt his/her partner physically, verbally and emotionally and victims of an abusive relationship don’t know when to break up until the damage has been done.

What determines an abusive relationship? Does it involve an exchange of physical altercations or verbal barrage of insults and putdowns or does it involve hurting the other one emotionally? The answer is a simple yes, whether it’s either one or all of the mentioned determinants. Breaking up with an abusive partner is the only option to get out of an abusive relationship as early as possible. But when people in a relationship fight, it always involves an exchange of hurtful words and yet after the fight, promises of the fight not happening again are made and broken. It’s one vicious cycle, to tell you the truth. Here are some early tell-tale signs that your partner is abusive and/or your relationship into an abusive path:

1.) Verbal abuse – your partner tends to say mean and hurtful things to you with no regards for your self esteem and dignity. He/she demeans your whole being.

2.) Physical abuse – your partner starts to lay a hand on you when you fight, be it a strong grab in the arm, a pinch or slap here, or a punch. A physical altercation is already a tell-tale sign that he/she is abusive when angry.

3.) Emotional abuse – your partner neglects your relationship by not showing up for dates, forgetting important issues like anniversaries, and the worst part cheating. He/she suddenly and drastically changes his/her entire being.

Bad break ups often come from an abusive relationship because one is more hurt the other and a break up from an abusive relationship has its share of hangovers and aftershocks. When people come out of an abusive relationship, it’s already been too late and the damage has been done to their:

1.) Self esteem
2.) Self respect
3.) Value of self importance
4.) Happiness


Battered women have a hard time moving on from their broken marriage/relationship because of the trauma caused by the abuse. I am not saying that only battered women feel this way, but also for men who have weak foundations in their being.
When these signs have already started to show, then you already know when to break up and it is best if you do it fast. When all you get out of that relationship is heartache, then breaking up is the only option for you.

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Tell tale signs of a break up

People often tend to look at signs and slowly compose these to come up with something big and probable. In the case of relationships, couples often are on the alert of possible break up signs especially if they hit a big wave during the course. In addition, breaking up with someone who once became special to us is hard and truly nerve wrecking. Because after all the said gesture is an indication of an end and a loss at the same time.

So before you decide on the question “Should we break up?” You need to contemplate and really assess the so called break up signs thoroughly. You don’t want to end up losing the right partner for you in the process. In the end you would then be asking yourself “Can I get my ex back?” If you were the one ender of the relationship, then this can be very difficult to handle. Thus, I listed some typical break up signs to watch out.

• Petty arguments. Arguments in a relationship are common and some prove healthy to strengthen the initial bond. But if the occurrences of such quarrels had become a day to day basis then you need to be vigilant. In addition to such, if you and your partner would argue for the smallest possible thing and end up blowing the whole issue enormously, then it’s a typical sign that your partner wants a foundation to start the break up ball rolling. Bad break up often begins in an argument that partners don’t want to solve.

• Lessened intimacy. Being close is one key factor to strengthen the bond of any relationship. It is like taking it a notch higher by sheer touching and kissing. If you noticed that your partner is somewhat distant when it comes to this aspect by avoiding it tendency he/she is not anymore interested. If this would happen on a daily basis then it’s a possible break up sign.

• Third party. When the relationship is on the verge of breaking, there is a large tendency that your partner would slowly shift into someone. When a possible third party would come into play then it would be easy to get out of the relationship and perhaps forget the latter partner.

Ending a once happy relationship because of varying reasons is truly an unbearable pain. Just remember these break up signs and perhaps one can cut the bond with due decency. After all a bad break up is something that one should avoid so as to retain respect with the other.

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First Date Mistakes: Possible Slips and Tips to Take

First dates are crucial especially if you would want to start a budding relationship with that special someone. Because of such an impact, an event like a first date must be thoroughly planned and acted in the best possible way. But oftentimes, the strands of good luck are not always on our side. There would be a minor percent in the course of the overall date that might turn into something unexpected; and if not resolved may end up ruining the whole momentum and the possible connection.

Let me stress out that first date mistakes will and can occur. The error may be minor as an insect bite and as major as a possible date cancellation. But some of these incidents are either circumstantial or deliberate.

Circumstantial mistakes are slips that are purely out of control. One does not bear its responsibility. Here are some probable first date circumstantial mistakes and your probable first hand in control solution.

• Date Venue is full. If you don’t have prior reservations, tendency this first date pitfall can happen. But of course, if this would happen then try to find another place that can compensate on the first visited venue. This may be of equal leverage with the former or perhaps better. Do not find an alternative place that is lower than the first one and don’t even bother to wait in line unless your date wants the idea.

• Event cancellation. If you happened to conduct your first date on the realms of a movie house, a theatre or a concert, then there are times that it might get cancelled. Unless you are a VIP then you can demand a show run. But if this would occur, find an alternative event that can balance the date. Or you can simply shove away the concert and conduct it instead in a karaoke bar.

• Power outage. This would be a very unlucky circumstance to be in. But nonetheless, pursue with the date and take it a notch higher. Perhaps a little candlelight dinner would be nice. In addition a probable star gazing after the meal would add up to a date’s spice.

Deliberate mistakes are errors that anyone can do both accidentally and on purpose. To name a few here are the following.

• Getting too personal. Of course the objective of the first date is to know your date better. But it would be very important to notice also boundaries and privacies. It would be advisable to not to talk about too personal stuffs like a former break up unless your date started to share it with you.

• Offensive lines. If you are the type of person who usually says things offensively in a casual way, then be aware of your mouth the moment you are in a date. But if you already said that offensive line, then better apologize. Explain why you said such and provide a better atmosphere with your date. And better not to do that again.

• Wrong questions. Through the course of the conversation there are questions reserved for the next few dates but never on a first date. Remember the first deliberate mistake one can deliver.

Mistakes are part of a human’s life. No one is perfect thus there is no perfect date either. Whichever the case will be, bounce back from a probable mistake and learn from it.

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Strap up for a pick up – Meet girls the right way

Meeting women has always been a risky challenge for men since the dawn of time; from the banging of the clubs to meet other cavewomen back in the pre-historic era to the exchange and volley of pick up lines to pick up attractive women at your nearest club, bar or party.

Why a risky challenge? Well, men don’t always have that 100% guarantee that they will walk away with some girl’s number every night if they chose to go out. It takes a lot more than corny pick up lines to approach women. It takes guts, keen thinking, an observant eye, and a swaying tongue to pick up women. Here’s why:

1.) Guts – you need the confidence to go up to a woman and initiate a conversation with her. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t have the guts to even say something remotely nice to her just enough to light the fuse for a conversation. Approach women with confidence, not cockiness. Don’t be that overconfident jock of a guy who likes to flex his biceps and show off his abs, but be that guy next door, exuding confidence and humility at the same time. Girls like guys who are meek and believe it or not, they find it cute when guys are intimidated by them.

2.) Keen thinking – A keen thought is the key on how to pick up women. The scenario you play out on your head will not ALWAYS play out in real life, so be ready to think of your exit line (how you plan to get out or close the conversation) before you even approach women. Superheroes always have a fancy entrance and exit gracefully. It’s very important to think on your feet in case something doesn’t play out the way you want it to or something comes unexpectedly.

3.) Observant eye – is an important strategy to maintaining the interest of a woman if you have already initiated a conversation with her. Don’t let your eyes linger to the parts where the eyes shouldn’t go. Example, observe her arms, if they are a bit muscular, ask her if she goes out to the gym or does some rock climbing or swimming. Girls like it when we take notice of other things than their breasts or butt. Every single detail counts, like examining a marble masterpiece.

4.) Swaying tongue – keeps women’s attention to you. Always have a joke to share, a serious topic here and there, and don’t ever spill out more beans that you’re supposed to. Girls don’t find it funny when you tell them about that hilarious weekend you had when you got so drunk you did something embarrassing.

So now you have a little insight on what to do on how to pick up women. Do it right and you might end up with a number in your hand and a date in a couple of days. Do it wrong and you might get a drink in the face or pepper spray. Don’t come too strong to women and don’t look so desperate to pick up women, believe me they can sense when men are desperate to pick up girls.

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How not to break down after a break up

Creating relationships is by far one of the most daunting tasks and challenges in our life, whether it’s a simple friendship between neighbor, officemates and co-workers, and anybody you might pass by in the streets to the more meaningful and complicated relationship with that special someone. We are at our happiest moments when we love and are loved in return, but what happens when we break up with our special someone?

Life can be cruel sometimes. Just when you thought that everything is going so smooth and well and you think that you would finally get that happy ending that you so desperately want would change in a blink of an eye. A break up between couples would occur due to unfortunate circumstances, contributed by stupidity or destiny. Regardless of the circumstance and reason for the break up, we always end up as a down-trodden broken down shell of a human being; depressed, low on self esteem, and probably as fragile as a champagne glass on top of a bull’s head. The healing process takes a lot of time, depending on the strength and will of a person to move on and forget about the past. Most would just sulk around for months, even years, grasping to that one false piece of hope that he/she will get their ex back.

Breaking down after a break up is the normal and usual routine we go through, just like what happens to a computer after it crashes from a malicious software, the only difference being that the computer would eventually reboot after it has been fixed. So why can’t we be just like the computer and simply reboot our broken down self after a break up? Doing the tips mentioned below will speed up the healing and recovery process of moving on but take note some will be painful:

1.) No communications – it’s a noble act when we try to communicate with our former lovers in the hopes of hanging on, or simply being there for them when they don’t want us there in the first place. This act only benefits them and hurts us all at once. Cutting off communications between your ex is the baby steps to moving on.

2.) Keeping busy – with work, friends and family, and other fun stuff rather than sulking around in the dark corner of your bedroom is the best way to forget about someone. Remember how our mothers would dangle a toy in front of us before swiping that bandage off? Same thing with keeping busy. Doing something fun will help you recover faster because your mind is focusing on that something fun that you’re doing and ignoring the painful stuff.

Basically, these are just the 2 simple steps to hasten the healing process. Although some would advise you to start dating as a sign of moving on, but in all that’s honest to goodness, it’s not ideal. It’s about the same as going into the battlefield with one magazine of ammunition, a bullet in the leg, and going head on into the heavily armed opponents. When people still haven’t moved on after a break up, their judgment is clouded and impaired, so dating a break up is a big no-no unless you want to do the kamikaze.

Overall, it doesn’t take much to avoid breaking down after a break up. All it takes is a little knowledge of getting back on your feet after falling down.

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Mistakes your partner did – Break up advice for women

People have varying tolerance levels for other people. We can tolerate our friend’s obnoxious behavior, while we can’t do the same for other people. We can be patient for our mom while she’s lining up at the groceries, but we can’t be patient for the delivery boy who delivers your morning paper or coffee. Couples break up because of intolerance towards their partner.

When two people connect in a relationship, it’s no surprise that they will show their good side towards their partner, and unknowingly, their bad side. Women are more susceptible to notice the change in their partner’s behavior and are more sensitive than men. Women are known to be more patient than men simply because of their ability to understand people in a deeper level than men. When women move in with their partners, chances are the two sides will have a sudden change in behavior and attitude towards the other. From this point on, the relationship becomes a sitting duck and the break up is just around the corner with a rifle and its crosshair playfully hovering above the relationship. Quite the analogy but in a matter of speaking, it becomes fragile to the point where all that pent up anger and frustration towards your partner may only need one tipping point to end it all. Husbands argue with their wives because their wives nag too much. Wives nag so their husbands would somehow lend them an ear and heed their advice or order or whatever it is that they would want to do like clean the house, pick up the stuff on the floor and so on. On the women’s side of things, it’s somehow a frustration when their partners don’t listen to them. For a short time this may seem tolerable but in the long run, it’s bound to tip and spill. Of course, conflicts can easily be resolved when you just talk things out with your partners. Worst case scenario is couples break up because of certain unresolved conflicts. In the case of partners living together but not married, women would have different reasons to break up if they see that their partner is not all that they thought he would be. For women, I can offer you some break up advice should a break up can no longer be avoided because of your partner’s deficiencies and downfall:

1.) Break up advice # 1 – When your partner is drinks a lot and refuses to listen to you to stop, better bail out before you end up being beaten up in drunken stupor.

2.) Break up advice #2 – When you see your partner is 100% relying on you for his needs, despite the fact that he can hold a steady job but refuses to get one, better get out before you turn into his slave.


3.) Break up advice #3 – When your partner goes out late at night and refuses to tell you where he goes, then an affair may be lurking up and about. If you share the same circle of friends or if you’re close with his friends, then it’s time for a confrontation.

4.) Break up advice #4 – When your partner lies to you a lot, then there really is no point in staying with him for a prolonged state of time. Better to be out than hurt so much later on.

5.) Break up advice #5 – When your partner talks brashly and hurtfully to you, or in a shorter term, verbal abuse, it just shows that he really doesn’t value you totally as a person. Staying longer in this kind of relationship would end up damaging your self esteem.

It’s never too late to confront your partner and tell him what he is doing wrong. Listening is an important aspect of a relationship and if he still refuses to listen, then breaking up with him would probably be the best for you. It’s painful but you will get over it in due time and you will find someone else better than him.

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Are you friends with your ex?

After a break up, people choose to distance themselves from their ex’s or be close to them. Depending on the nature of your break up, choosing to be close with your ex or not is completely dependent on how you broke up in the first place.

For most people, the reason why they want to be close with their ex’s is that they want to get them back. It’s not exactly a bad idea to befriend your ex after a break up. Getting back with your ex may be on top of your mind if you feel that you broke up for all the wrong reasons. Honestly, there really is no harm in befriending your ex after a break up but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you can get back with your ex if you do this though. If it happens that you and your ex were very good friends or best friends even before you took the next step, then chances are you will revert back to that status if the relationship ended in good terms. Note that whenever you are with your ex, it may be awkward for a time considering how close you two were but it shouldn’t stop you from getting close with him/her regardless of your intentions why you want to be close in the first place. Getting back with your ex takes a lot of hard work, patience and determination; just because you want to get back with your ex doesn’t mean that your ex also wants to get back with you. If you and your ex share the same circle of friends, then it shouldn’t be hard to be close with him/her.

Just give them and yourself ample time to recover from the break up before you start deciding on befriending them again. It may take some time to recover from a break up but it is necessary for you and your ex if you want to be close with them or remain friends with them. Remember, when relationships fail, your friends will be the one to help you go through with it and it doesn’t hurt to add more to your list of friends.

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Learning from your mistakes will help you get back with your ex.

Life gives us the chance to make the right decisions in order for us to better ourselves in terms of living, work, school, and relationships. Mistakes are made when we often make the wrong decisions, deliberately or unknowingly.

Like stepping stones leading to another place, mistakes in relationships will often give us the chance to better ourselves for either the next relationship to come or for a past relationship. When we break up with our partners for different reasons, it often leaves us to re-assess what we did wrong in that relationship in order for us to avoid doing the same mistake in the next relationship, should there be a new one. Learning from your mistakes will sometimes mend your broken ways with your ex and getting back with your ex may be a possibility. Getting back together with your ex is ideal, assuming because it shows that you really love your ex and you would do what it takes to get back with your ex. Romantic as a failed relationship given a second chance may sound, take note that the phrase “history repeats itself” will be applicable. Just because we learn from our mistakes doesn’t mean we are not susceptible to doing it again. When people say that love is better the second time around, it also means that the pain involved will also be greater than the first time. So in a sense, there is more to risk in a second chance at a relationship because unlike a new relationship where in you get to start with a clean slate, second chances involve starting where you left off after breaking up.

Before considering getting back together with your ex, know what you did wrong in the previous relationship, regardless of the significance or value of the mistake. Assure yourself if your partner would also do the same because if not, then history will indeed repeat itself.

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How do I get my ex boyfriend back – When women realize their mistake of breaking up

There are always two sides of a story. When it comes to relationships, it’s usually the guys who are at fault for the break up. When women are at fault, it may take some time for them to realize before they ask themselves “how do I get my ex boyfriend back” or when they see their ex with someone else.

Breaking up is never easy. When women find it hard to move on after a break up, it may take some time for them to move on, most especially if they are the ones who are at fault for breaking up. In general, people find it hard to admit to their mistakes when they realize what they’ve done, and in a relationship point of view, when one or the other commits a mistake, they usually don’t admit to it. Sometimes all it takes for a person to realize their mistakes is when they see their ex is happy with someone else. It’s a harsh reality but more often than not, this happens to majority of us. When you start asking yourself “how do I get my ex boyfriend back”, then chances are you are now realizing what you’ve done after the break up. But worry not, there is still a chance that you can get your ex back and here is what you need to do:

1.) Admit to your mistakes by talking to your ex boyfriend.
2.) Re-evaluate where you went wrong in your relationship.
3.) Avoid the same mistakes if you are given a second chance.

Of course, you really can’t force your ex boyfriend to get back with you if he is already happy with someone else. But you can never be happy with yourself if you don’t admit to your mistakes. Mistakes will always haunt us and it is the price we pay for doing so but the best part in mistakes is that we make sure that we avoid doing them all over again.

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I want to get back with my ex – things to do before wanting to get them back

After a break up, people would immediately have the mentality of “I want to get my ex boyfriend back” or “I want to get my ex girlfriend back”. Some would immediately opt to start over and start dating again, some would often want to get back with their ex after breaking up with them.

There’s a saying that we lose things in order to gain something better. But what if we get back what we lost, but only better? Does it make sense? In a relationship point of view, breaking up with your partner is a normal yet difficult thing to do. After a break up, people would often want to move on by starting over again with new people. Others would want to move on by getting back with their ex. Now, these choices are not to be made easily. If you look at what happened to your relationship as a spectator and not the victim, you would often see the mistakes that were committed in the relationship. Saying “I want my ex girlfriend back” or “I want my ex boyfriend back” usually means that you want to give your relationship another chance. But hang on; there are things that you have to consider before getting them back:

1.) Analyze your mistakes – did you or your partner commit mistakes that caused the relationship to falter? This is the turning point of the decision to get them back or not.

2.) Will you do them again – will you commit the same mistakes all over again? Can you assure yourself or your partner that you won’t commit the same mistake twice?

3.) Value of self preservation – if your partner was the one at fault and you still want them back, ask for their assurance that he/she will treat you right the second time around if the relationship is given another shot.

4.) Value of self importance – ego is not a factor here. There was a ME before a WE in a relationship. Did you value the WE part more than the ME part? Are you terrible at being single (yes, some people are like this.)? Give yourself a chance to recover and do the first 3 steps before considering and making plans to get them back.

It’s very easy to say “I want to get my ex girlfriend back” or “I want to get my ex boyfriend back” after a break up. If you have reassessed yourself and the relationship enough to actually give it a second chance, then by all means go for it. But if there is but a single shred of doubt, then don’t commit into re-entering the relationship. Going back to your ex is a lot difficult than committing yourself into a new one.

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Things to consider before you get your ex back

In almost every break up, the first thing that will almost definitely come to your mind is to get your ex back. Moving on will never is the easiest part after the post-break up stage in your life. It never is. Sometimes, during this stage, you might think that there are still chances that you will get your ex back.

As I’ve said before, moving on is never the easiest part but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the hardest part. More often than not, couples who have lasted for more than 3 years are more than likely to have broken up once or twice, but have managed to get back together for a variety of reasons. I have friends who have been together for more than 5 years, broken up at least twice in their relationship lifespan before settling down and getting married. Where I am getting at is, sometimes moving on doesn’t mean that you have to start dating other people again but to make the effort to get back with your ex if the chance would present itself, but you have to take into consideration the factors and reasons why you broke up in the first place. If you broke up for reasons listed below, then there is still a chance that you can get your ex back:

- work is getting in the way
- long distance relationship will never work for you
- career first before relationship
- you or your partner need the space (definitely the most widely used form of break up reason, in my honest opinion)
- other external factors like family, peers

But if you broke up because one of you cheated on the other, then it would be a mistake on your part or on your partner’s part if you can get him/her back. The phrase “History repeats itself” is more than likely to happen if you broke up with him/her because one of you cheated. So if you broke up because one or the other cheated and you got together again, it’s going to be the same story again, unless one of you will decide to change for the better.

There are so many reasons why couples would break up, sometimes it would be for the most pathetic or sometimes the most selfless act they can do. The latter is a rare occurrence of course, but yes they do happen. Getting your ex back is sometimes a challenge in itself, not only the process but also prolonging your second chance at your relationship and avoiding the same mistakes all over again.

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Why People break up and what to do after the break up

There are so many reasons why couples break up. There are many possibilities that may come into that tiny little noggin of yours. There are also a lot of things do after the break up.

There are so many factors and circumstances which might lead to a break up. Factors like work, distance, family and peers or even a third party; and circumstances like religion, family tradition, fixed marriage setups, and the list goes on and on. In any case, we often end up questioning ourselves after the break up. Certain questions like “Is there a chance I can get my ex back?” or “where did I/he/she/we go wrong?” or “what am I supposed to do now?” begin to pop into our head one by one as a form of self evaluation. Break ups will often put people at their lowest and depressing stage in their lives and it will often lead to them doing something drastic or desperate. To cope with a break up, acceptance is always the key technique. Accepting that the WE is now a ME, accepting that you’re now in the pool of bachelors, accepting the fact that you deserve someone better and your partner deserves someone better to are just some of the things that you need to consider after the break up.

Some things aren’t meant to stay together and some things aren’t meant for us to hold on to for a long time, whether it’s in the case of relationships or any materialistic object that we may value in our lives.

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The art of breaking up – tips on how to break up

There are so many articles out there giving advices and tips on how to get together with a guy or a girl. There are so many dating articles that most of them end up saying the exact same thing but rephrased differently. But did you know that articles with a topic on how to break up is also being looked up by millions of single (and married(?)) people all over the world. If you think that this article is about getting out of relationships easily, then you’re wrong. If getting in is hard, breaking up should be even harder.

There may come a point in time in your relationship that you or your partner might consider ending the relationship. Maybe because the spark in your relationship is gone, or maybe one or both of you fell out of love or maybe even the decision to enter the relationship was a mistake. In any case, when this realization starts hitting you, another fork in the road comes along: should I end it or not? Sometimes, a relationship that’s no longer survived by one person is a failing relationship, survived in a sense that there’s no more effort to keep the relationship going. If you choose to opt for the former, then read on. If you choose the latter, then stop reading the article. Breaking up is never easy but here are some few tips on how to break up without it being too difficult for you.

Tip on how to break up #1 – consider the factors why the relationship is failing. Is it because of work? Stress? Distance? Does it involve a certain third party? Do you still love your partner? In any case, the key to a civilized break up is to talk with your partner about your relationship. Full frontal brutal honesty is required for this talk.

Tip on how to break up #2 – if the relationship is no longer worth keeping (yes, there are some couples out there who stay together only for the sake of being together.), then it’s best to tell your partner how you feel. Maybe he/she is thinking the exact same thing.

Tip on how to break up #3 – NEVER MAKE A REASON FOR YOU TO BREAK UP. Don’t go out forcefully seeing other people just so you can break up with your partner. It’s barbaric and at the same time it will definitely hurt your partner.

As I’ve said before, breaking up is never easy. But sometimes, when you’ve done those first 2 tips, you and your partner are actually evaluating the relationship and where it is right now. If you can manage to salvage and start over, then it’s an even better alternative. No one can ever tell a couple how to break up since it would be completely dependent on the couple alone how they are going to do it. If there is still a glimpse of a silver lining in your failing relationship, then that alone is enough for you to keep the relationship going and talk to your partner about it. Who knows, maybe you’ll regret it and start thinking about getting your ex back.

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Dating after a break up – Good or bad idea?

Breaking up with someone is always the hardest thing to do. Coping after a break up is a lot harder. As stated in previous articles, there will always be a reason why couples break up.

Sometimes the things people do after a break up end up being stupid and regrettable. Majority would think “I want to get my ex girlfriend back” or “I want to get my ex boyfriend back” the moment they would see their ex with someone else. Now why is this? Often times, the reason for this is that people who have a hard time after a break up find a rebound person or someone that they feel comfortable with or to mask their true feelings and insecurities. Come on, dating after breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t exactly a good idea unless you’re one who quickly jumps up after being down after a break up. Then again, most people aren’t like that. It’s like going into battle with a bullet wound in your leg; you are not at your 100% performance level to get the next guy or girl that comes into your sights. If you have the mentality of “I want to get my ex girlfriend back or I want to get my ex boy friend back” when you see them with someone else, then you are fighting a losing battle, my friend. Deal with the pain of a break up in your own terms, not theirs. Sure there may be chances that they are only dating the girl/guy just to make you jealous but if you look at it from a closer point of view, those that date other people after a break up are just as broken as you are.

Coping after a break up requires patience and effort. If you are the one that can quickly bounce up after a bad break up, then good for you. If not, then you need the time to reassess everything.

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Why he wants to break up – mistakes women do

Some men are able to tolerate their girlfriends’ more than usual negative behavior. However, some often reach their limits and end up breaking up with their girlfriend. It’s quite unusual for guys to initiate the break up (unless they have someone else or they are cheating and looking for an easy way out).

Women break up with their boyfriends because they can’t tolerate their obnoxious or sometimes rude behavior and attitude. The same thing can happen to men, but on a whole different level of intolerance. Believe it or not, men do listen to their girlfriends every once in a while; we’re just not used to hearing it more than once or twice. If you’re a guy and you somehow can’t tolerate your girlfriend’s negative / irrational / obnoxious behavior, then breaking up with your girlfriend may be the only way out of it. While women find it frustrating when their partners don’t listen to them, we also find it frustrating when you don’t listen to us as well. Guys have different reasons to break up with their girlfriends, whether it’s just an excuse to get out of a relationship or breaking up with your girlfriend is the only way out of a relationship that’s headed for a downward spiral. For girls, doing the following will increase your chances of a break up:

1.) Reason to break up # 1: Jealousy – We get the fact that you are possessive and you want us all for yourselves but starting a fight just because we looked at another woman is pretty lame. It’s a whole different story when we are talking with them and I believe girls have the right to be jealous when flirting is already involved.

2.) Reason to break up#2: Neediness – We all have separate lives before we enter into a relationship. When girls start to invade into a guy’s separate life and starts to accumulate her boyfriend’s time all for herself, then we may feel like we are choked or put on a strangle hold because we don’t have enough space for ourselves.

3.) Reason to break up#3: Confrontation – Confrontation and arguments are normal in a relationship. We really don’t want you girls to start arguments for a variety of petty reasons. Doing this will really wear us down.

While these are just some of the more major reasons to break up for guys, the fact of the matter is, guys just break up when they can’t tolerate with their girlfriend’s behavior or attitude. The same thing can be said for girls who can’t tolerate their guy’s attitude. All in all, relationships are all about giving and taking, and everything is mutual.

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How do I get my ex boyfriend back – When women realize their mistake of breaking up

There are always two sides of a story. When it comes to relationships, it’s usually the guys who are at fault for the break up. When women are at fault, it may take some time for them to realize before they ask themselves “how do I get my ex boyfriend back” or when they see their ex with someone else.
Breaking up is never easy. When women find it hard to move on after a break up, it may take some time for them to move on, most especially if they are the ones who are at fault for breaking up. In general, people find it hard to admit to their mistakes when they realize what they’ve done, and in a relationship point of view, when one or the other commits a mistake, they usually don’t admit to it. Sometimes all it takes for a person to realize their mistakes is when they see their ex is happy with someone else. It’s a harsh reality but more often than not, this happens to majority of us. When you start asking yourself “how do I get my ex boyfriend back”, then chances are you are now realizing what you’ve done after the break up. But worry not, there is still a chance that you can get your ex back and here is what you need to do:

1.) Admit to your mistakes by talking to your ex boyfriend.
2.) Re-evaluate where you went wrong in your relationship.
3.) Avoid the same mistakes if you are given a second chance.

Of course, you really can’t force your ex boyfriend to get back with you if he is already happy with someone else. But you can never be happy with yourself if you don’t admit to your mistakes. Mistakes will always haunt us and it is the price we pay for doing so but the best part in mistakes is that we make sure that we avoid doing them all over again.

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How to deal with the pain after a break up

Dealing with the pain after a break up is hard. It’s sometimes the most painful experience that one can feel in his/her lifetime that occurs every time you are in a relationship. More often than not, the pain is equal to that of losing a loved one who passed away.

Dealing with the pain requires a lot of patience, strength and effort. Dealing with the pain requires you to take time and recover from it, not jump into the sea of single women/guys. We all have different coping mechanisms to deal with pain, stress, heartbreak, and depression. But regardless of the difference, there will always be one or two methods that we all have something in common about. Here are just some of the different ways how to get over a break up.

1.) Do you want to get back with your ex? – Before the healing can actually start, you have to answer this question. Sometimes, getting back with your ex is in itself a healing process because you and your partner become better persons when you get back together and the relationship will last longer.

2.) Self – evaluation – If you answered NO on the first question, you are in the process of slowly moving forward on your own. This step is often the most difficult and most crucial part in any healing process because you are evaluating yourself.
List down all your mistakes and what you did and what you didn’t do in your past relationship/s. Ask yourself questions like “did you let work get a hold of you when your partner needed you most?” or “Where was I when he/she needed me most?” or “Where did I go wrong?” and answer them honestly. The truth hurts but this is crucial if you want to become a better person and for you to start feeling better.

3.) Distraction – take time to relax and enjoy life’s pleasures. Go out on a vacation, pamper yourself, and get your adrenaline pumping and all those other things that people consider fun.

It’s normal to be hurt after a break up. What’s important is how you get back on your feet when you’re down. Don’t beat yourself too hard when you do the self evaluation. Admit to your mistakes and avoid doing them all over again. This will help you become a better person.

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How do I get my ex back after a bad break up?

Technically, every break up is bad. It hurts two people at once, and sometimes leaves a very deep scar. But a bad break up is when it leaves two people very devastated and lost too much when the relationship ended.

People who go through a bad break up usually end up doing or going through the following:

a.) Severe depression – for the reason that aside from losing a loved one, they also lose their dreams and goals for the relationship like starting a family and so on.

b.) Confusion – some people would often ask the question “How do I get my ex back?” simply because they can’t accept the reality that the relationship is over.

Majority are more than likely to go through a very confused state after a bad break up. Tendency is, when they start to date other people, almost every time something will always remind them of their ex, thus the question of “How do I get my ex back?” would pop up back in their heads again. Before even considering on getting your ex back after a bad break up, you have to consider the following matters:

- Was the idea of the break up mutual or one sided? : If the agreement for the break up was mutual, then getting back your ex is slightly harder.

- What were the reasons why you broke up? : If you broke up because of external factors with the exception of a third party involved (also called cheating), then there is still a chance that you can still get your ex back.

- Do you really want him/her back? : Sometimes you only want your ex back simply because you’re being reminded of him/her when you date someone else. In other words, your ex partner is now your comfort zone for determining who you want your new partner should be. This isn’t exactly feasible. People are unique and no two people are alike, even twins. Yes, you will always be reminded of your ex partner/s but it doesn’t mean that you have to get them back. Starting over and moving on is also the best way to cope with a bad break up.

Every break up is bad and no one goes out unscathed. Even those that are already callused by emotional pain would still feel pain just as much as someone who’s new to relationships. Getting your ex back may or may not be the best way to cope with a bad break up but what’s important is that how you get back up on your feet. Reconciliation and recovery are always part of a relationship. It’s always up to you what path to take.

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Break up hangovers – what to do and what not to do after the break up

When relationships break up, people get hangovers. In terms of drinking, hangovers are a reminder that drinking too much is a pain in the ass when you wake up. In terms of relationships however, hangovers are a reminder of what to do and what not to do in relationships after a break up occurs.

A relationship always has its ways of letting us do a better job at self evaluation. Sometimes even a relationship that has lasted for a very long time is most likely to fail. For the worst part of an ending relationship, like after a night of heavy drinking, we get hung over. Why? As the wounds of a broken relationship are still fresh, almost everything that will remind you of that relationship will be like alcohol on an open wound. More often than not, the first thing that comes to our minds after every break up is the question “can I get my ex back?”. Chances are, going back to your ex is dependent on the circumstance and reason on why you broke up in the first place; however this is not something that you’d want to dwell upon for the first few days of your break up.

What to do:

1.) Recover – take time to recover from your break up and enjoy the life of single blessedness for the time being. Go out with your friends, indulge yourself with work, or whatever it takes for you to recover.

What not to do:
1.) Moping – moping around won’t do you any good. You’ll never be able to get over the past if you keep on thinking about it. What’s done is done.

2.) Dating – dating other people is not a good idea when the break up is still fresh, because you are not at your 100% performance level when you are still wounded. Just take a look at a soldier. You can’t expect him to survive in battle with a bullet in his leg. More or less, this will be your situation.

These are just some of the important things to do and avoid after a break up. Of course, we all have our own ways of dealing with the break up.

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Get back with your ex

Hello there, reader

You may have stumbled upon this site because you're in the search for ways on how to get your ex back.

You have come to the right place, because not only will be I giving you advices and tips on how to get your ex back, but I will also be recommending you other reading materials should my information be inadequate.

It takes guts to get your ex back, but it's all worth it in the end.

May the road to getting back together with your ex be a smooth one, as I show you what to do and what not to do on successfully getting your ex back.

Till then.

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